Well kids, so far, it’s been a successful week here in the Woo. I’ve ventured out to the corners of our service area and have returned unscathed despite the less than warm reception I received in some of these places. The upside is, I was able to enjoy the beautiful foliage that’s alive and well in that neck of the woods and was only verbally accosted once or twice. All in all, it’s been a good week. Here’s what I’ve got…
1. This week has brought on some chilly temps and many of you out there have buckled under pressure and have turned on your heat – wimps. At the Kap house, we hold out on the heat as long as possible. I believe my personal record may be Thanksgiving, but don’t quote me on that. We have plenty of dogs here, grab one and bundle up, are the words that leave my mouth when anyone here is complaining they can see their breath when they speak. My response to how we will survive the chill until the heat comes on you ask? A.) grab a dog to snuggle with, B.) bundle up or C.) quit complaining and you won’t have to worry about seeing your breath when you speak – pretty simple if you ask me.
2. How do the Kap girls handle this? They pack up and go to Grammy’s house. Her heats already on people…head to Sue Miller’s if you can’t handle it, her door’s always open. Figuratively, not literally – she’s generous, but not stupid. She’s not heating the outside, what's wrong with you?
3. With the chill, the trees begin to get ready for a long winters nap to prepare themselves for next spring. While our large, tall friends start to transform and begin to drop their leaves, we have some human transformations going on here as well. That’s right kids, Leaf blowing Joe is back, our first sighting this season, with a new name to add to the list. He’s already taken to the yards, leaf blower in hand, working his magic making our streets and lawns safe and leaf free. This year however, he’s got a new enemy to deal with, the acorn. As a result of this newfound nemesis, for the next few weeks Joe shall be referred to as Acorn Joe until the hood is rid of the little buggers who have turned his yard into a rolling carpet. Exhibit 1, two of the four full barrels of acorns gathered by Acorn Joe that were brought down to Foley Stadium for the yard waste drop off.
4. During a long overdue driveway conference, Joe and I discussed this acorn phenomenon. We both agree that we don’t remember a season when the trees shed and tossed these many acorns about the yards. This piqued my curiosity. I went to google where we get all our expert information here at The Antics, to see what we could find out about this acorn situation. Google reports that when there are a lot of acorns the Oak trees are having a mast year. A mast year causes Oak trees to produce an unusually large number of acorns as a defense mechanism from seed predators, like squirrels, birds, and ants. This increases the chances that some seeds will survive and grow into new trees. What do I say to this? I stopped reading at squirrels, that’s all I needed to see. I’ve been telling you all for years that squirrels are shifty and can’t be trusted. Harley and I aren’t the only ones who are at constant battle with these woodland creatures, even the Oak trees know they’re less than trustworthy. This is why the mighty oaks have started hucking acorns at the little bastards.
5. To all the squirrels in the 02…let this be a message to you – we're on to you and even the trees have had it, joining our forces. If you’re looking for your acorns, head on down to the city yard waste drop off at Foley stadium. That’s where you’ll find them by the barrels - Bon Appetit.
6. While Acorn Joe was trying to rid the hood of acorns and anything else that would make the squirrels think they’re welcome here, my trust in task completion was being questioned. The task at hand was stamping and then mailing an envelope that was to be dropped into a mailbox. My buddy Joe Burns believed I could handle this task, but Jim Burns was unsure - nervous even – that Joe and I could not get this job done. Initially I was thinking maybe Jim had spoken to Sue Miller, or maybe Leah, both of whom would confirm I’ve got some history with mail never finding its way out of my vehicle and into a mailbox, but he assured me he had no such conversation with either. So, I’m thinking my untrustworthiness involving all things mail related must just ooze off me like some kind of aura and Jim just knew in his gut that he was taking a chance with his mail making it to its destination. Crumbling under pressure, Jim went against his better judgment and handed me the mail. I promised to get it into a mailbox, and despite three passed mailboxes and two passed local post office’s, I did in fact get the envelope mailed and did so at the West Side Post Office. The phases of this delivery process were videoed step by step and sent to Jim Burns so he would know that I can now be trusted. If you’re left asking yourselves how many social workers it takes to mail an envelope, I’m here to tell you two – two of us to get mail mailed.
7. Being environmentally conscious. Waste less, reuse more, recycle and be more sustainable. All sorts of companies boast about their efforts to recycle and waste less, including toilet paper companies. Here’s a thought. If a toilet paper company is going to brag about wasting less, planting trees to replace those they’ve used to make their product, you’d think they wouldn’t waste time, money, energy and more paper on individually wrapping each roll.
8. The environment, the climate, let’s move on to astrological events, shall we? First, we got to experience the Northern Lights here in the Woo. Then soon after, a comet…that is, if you were lucky enough to have your act together and get outside to check it out, which I was not. What else is there for the universe to give us this week? You guessed it, a full moon, and not just any old moon, but the biggest, brightest full moon of the year, a supermoon. According to NASA, a supermoon happens when the moon's orbit is closest to the Earth at the same time the moon is full. At approximately 226,000 miles from Earth, the full moon appears brighter and larger than a regular full moon, hence the term supermoon. This supermoon is traditionally called the Hunter's Moon. The falling leaves and lasting moonlight made it easier to see, track and hunt, allowing hunters to stock up on their meat supply for winter. Now that you are armed with this information, does not make it okay to converge upon your local grocery store of choice, act like lunatics, and wipe out the meat department. This is not the 1800's.
9. Fun fact. I heard some very wise words this week. You can’t be a cheerleader if you don’t show up to the game. Keep on talking and talking and talking people, but if you don’t back up all that blabber, it’s all for nothing. Get it together.
10. Park Ave wars continue. However, there are numerous city streets that can be added to the list of streets we all know and love who cause us to yell what the actual F&^& every time we attempt to drive them. We can thank all the lovely construction and detours that are underway, all – at – the – same – time. Every corner, street, light, intersection, something is being torn up, poorly repaved, you name it. Here’s a fun fact I learned this week while out with my good friends from inspectional services to address yet another home that is experiencing a rat problem… rats don’t like noise. It’s not so much the digging up of areas and building, it’s the vibrations and the noise all that digging makes that makes the rats vacate all the lovely tunnels they call home under the streets of our fair land. I can’t blame them for being disgruntled with all the noise and the vibrations, but I’m pretty sure if my house started shaking and making loud noises it would be frowned upon for me to vacate the premises and move in uninvited to my neighbors house. And another thing, I’m not sure what’s worse…that the rats are slowly taking over the Woo, or that I’m now immune and it doesn’t bother me anymore when I see them.
Side note…If you google when is rush hour in Worcester, you will find the stipulated times are 6am to 10 am and then 3pm to 7pm. Call me crazy, but that's pretty much all day.
And last but not least…the forecast says that it’s supposed to be in the 70’s Saturday through next Wednesday. Don’t be a sucker and put your heat on – dig your heels in, or head on over to Sue Miller’s house.
Have a great weekend!
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