Well Kids, The Weekly Antics are being published later and later every week, but we’re still here and going strong. It’s been a bit of a struggle getting them out on time because despite all the chaos and crazy material the universe provides, we still have to do the work of the people. It doesn’t go unnoticed if I decide to hang out and screw around all the time…gotta do some work every once in a while. Here’s what I’ve got…
1. It’s hot. Like really hot. We all know this, but it makes us feel better to state over and over again just how hot it is. It’s like hell hot. If I’ve said this once, I’ll say it a million times…the occasional heat wave is a brutal reminder why we should all strive to be more decent human beings, because hell is hotter than this all the damn time. Get it together.
2. The full strawberry moon is upon us just to add to the fun this heat provides. The moon may appear red at some points this evening, hence the name strawberry moon. Should you be out star gazing and soaking up all those moon ray, please keep this in mind so you don’t think you’re having some heat related medical emergency, call 911 and clog up EMS services...that is, if 911 remains working. I’d like to think the strawberry moon is to blame for everyone being particularly off kilter this week, but sadly I’m not convinced that’s the reason. Exhibit 1, a day in the life of a Protective Services worker here in the Woo…
3. Ceiling fans – we haven’t talked about ceiling fans in a while. I’m happy to report that the struggle with ceiling fan protocol continues. I have no answers for anyone other than you pull the string and see what happens. When you do so, if it comes on, you don’t touch it again until the end of the heat season when you can turn it off. Who knew ceiling fans could be so complicated? Exhibit 2
4. Fun fact…if you want to be of assistance in ridding your home of your mouse infestation, I suggest that you stop naming the mice, feeding the mice, attempting to pet the mice, and treating them like pets. And no, laying out DIY beds for them is not helping your situation, you’re just making them more comfortable, making them feel like your house is a 5 star resort. Help me help you.
5. The throwing the air conditioners in the window battle was on last week and I was convinced that we were the only people in a 100 -mile radius who still didn’t have their AC units in the windows. That’s until I was out and about and heard several of my closest friends whom I hold dear, were in the same boat. Playing with fire, holding out until the very last second to throw those units in the windows before their wives lost their ever-living minds. I am now aware of you fools and suspect you’ve all been on a text chain together betting to see how long you could hold out on throwing those AC’s in the windows - don’t think banding together joining forces is going to save you from torture next season… or in November when we’re telling to get them the hell out of the windows because we’re sick of heating the outside.
6. Despite the heat, Gibson and his allergy ridden self, still does not like, appreciate, look forward to, or welcome a bath of any kind ever. Despite the almost 100-degree heat, he still acted as if I threw him in hot lava. Exhibit 3,
7. Big news … there was an undercover meeting last night held at the Boynton to discuss the variety of grocery store app’s out there and available to all grocery getters everywhere. A photo will not be included in #7 as we are all about protecting the anonymity of our shoppers for fear that they’ll get mad and stop grocery shopping all together.
Exhibit 4, the grocery getter was not doing his job this week - Gibson ran out of Pop Tarts.
8. What do we do on our day off in the middle of the week in honor of Juneteenth? I dragged the youngest Kap kid out to Logee’s Nursery in CT – who wouldn’t want to go inside an already hot nursery on the hottest day of the year? Admittedly, we didn’t think that one through…good to know however that we continue to be a bad influence on our plant loving friends who also chose the hottest day so far of the year to go on a plant purchasing adventure...he just happened to be found in the opposite direction of us at Mahoney's in Concord. He scored big. Exhibit 5
9. This kid does my heart good – you haven't heard much about Lawnmowing Joe these days, because this is the newer cuter version. Not quite ready to operate heavy machinery, she enjoys her time making us smile, and hanging out with us in the driveway. Here she is pre thunderstorm wind last night sporting her Driveway BFF t-shirt. Exhibit 6, my driveway BFF.
10. Antoine has been seriously rethinking his life choices. He thinks his life sucks here in the Woo and has been patiently waiting to hitch a ride to his prospective home at Mykonos Bakery in Millbury. I'm sorry we suck Antoine...we'll get you out there eventually, if we don't accidentally kill you first.
And last but not least, in a world where you can be an Angry Potato, may we suggest you take the higher road and be a Happy Potato. The world needs more Happy Potatoes.
Have a great weekend!
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