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Your Weekly Antics, Cats & Rats and Elephants, No Unicorns Edition...3-14-24


Well kids, here we are, mid-March, St. Patrick's Parade Day has gone by, and with that the hour we lost with the time change last Sunday. If you missed Worcester's St. Patrick's Day Parade and the Celtic 5 K, we try to make up for that lost hour by celebrating St. Paddy's Day all month long here in Massachusetts - you can catch the next St. Patrick's Day Parade in Boston this Sunday. If not parade going, we hope you’ve at least all run out and grabbed your Shamrock Shakes from McDonalds, not sure how much dairy is actually in them, but it’s fun, it’s only out for a short time every March, go crazy and grab one. Can’t be any worse than green beer. And if you happen to run across Al Kapacziewski today, wish him a Happy Birthday! Here’s what I’ve got…




1. The work of the people gets more and more interesting as time goes on. Just when I think I’ve seen it all and being a seasoned worker, I’d know a thing or two, I still have a rookie move or two up my sleeve. Fun fact…when out at a hoarder's house, when you see a pile of their treasures moving, you should assume at all times that 1., you are not hallucinating, 2., it wasn’t the wind coming in from that hole in their ceiling that moved that pile, and 3., you should assume that whatever just moved that pile is something undesirable you would prefer not to see or encounter. But no, that pile moved ever so slightly and with that move down fell some of those treasures, but most notably, a microwave. That microwave now blocking my path, had to be moved so I could exit the premises. I may or may not have been more than annoyed and may have picked that microwave up, whose chord had been chewed off by the way, and haphazardly heaved it back on to the pile from where it came. I’m here to tell you, that was not smart. Chucking that microwave back on to the pile only angered that pile and its residents. I will leave you with this…the entire neighborhood probably heard me screaming at those little bastards. I…HATE….RATS….and they're taking over The Woo...see below...



 



2.  Rats have become quite the problem in many cities, and Boston is no exception. Boston rats are a whole different breed. They’re well fed, brazen and are quite literally wandering the streets. When out on a walk in Boston, Bostonians see rats like we see squirrels out and about. It’s always fun to be on the phone with the oldest Kap kid when he's out taking a stroll, when one hops out at him from behind a dumpster or when he comes across one hanging out in the gutters while he’s catching the bus. Occasionally one or two still get the better of him, catch him by surprise and send him jumping. Nope, I’d never get used to it. I can barely handle city squirrels.

 






3. When we’re not having rats and their beady little eyes staring at us from atop of or beneath piles of someone’s trash and treasures that they call home, it’s their counterpart the mouse. Those critters are no better than the rats, they’re just a smaller version of them, meandering about getting themselves into all sorts of nooks and crannies and causing problems. Let there be no mistake about it, where there is one mouse there are many, and with those many mice come many problems. Like the city rat, the city mouse is well fed, brazen and living its best life in most of the homes I go to. They are not cute like the cartoon or animated mouse we've come to know in Disney and Pixar movies, they're the common city street mouse freeloading off the trash and treasures of those who have let things get away from them. Much like the relatives who come for a visit and 3 months later you're still trying to get them to leave, it's not easy to move them out once they've made themselves comfortable. I know they're God's creatures, but they're pains in the ass, and I can't stand them.  





5. Beet and the Turkeys. Some of you who don’t live in MA don’t believe me until you see if for yourselves. I speak the truth people, and even if I were going to lie to all of you, it certainly wouldn’t be about turkeys. Exhibit 1, the Turkeys of Fort Devens. One of The Antics loyal weekly readers has relocated to our fine state and ran across these beasts of the foul variety on her first day of work at Fort Devens. A retired Air Force Colonel, even she was taken aback and asked what in the hell we've been feeding these things that made them so big. I told you they were big and scary and brazen and ugly. But no one listens. I like turkeys about as much as I like the rats and chickens of the Woo, if you're not reading between the lines, that means I don’t, not even on Thanksgiving...like squirrels, they’re sketchy and can’t be trusted. *** Please notice how tall this turkey is next to the Stop sign. He - Is - Huge. Run Beet, Run.

 




6. Update in my job description according to the public; somewhere along the line in my illustrious career as the Crisis Worker at Elder Services of Worcester, it has been assumed that when not befriending the rat, I am the keeper of keys and must hold a master key that allows one, specifically me, to gain access to any home or car that belongs to any elder I've ever worked with in my entire life. This is according to a woman I spoke with earlier in the week who read me the riot act for not keeping up with her elderly friends plant care during her hospitalization. The plants - didn't care about the elder, but have I been keeping this womans plants alive - According to her, I have done all elders, but this elder specifically, a great disservice by not breaking and entering into her home, like some kind of plant watering Robinhood, to water her plants and follow all of the very specific needs of her exotic plants. Listen lady, I'm not in charge. I can barely keep myself alive, and don't know where my own keys are half the time. There is no such thing as a master key that unlocks everything everywhere at all times. If there is, that is way above my paygrade, and I don't have access to it. Cut me some slack. Get it together.







7. Just when you think vermin and poultry is getting you down, and the general population and their lack of good will has hit an all-time low, we run across things like this... St. Patrick’s Day parade day. While others are out and getting their drink on, this guy, the good Samaritan that he is, saw this couch cushion fall out of the back of a truck. Instead of driving around it, or better yet, running right over it, he stopped, struggling to stay up right on his Harley, to pick the cushion up out of the road. A guy walking by seeing motorcycle guys efforts, stopped to help by going into the street, picking the cushion up and putting it down on the curb. Rather than leave it on the side of the road, Motorcycle guy asked the man to hand him the cushion - he was going to try to catch up to the truck it fell from to get it back to its rightful owner. I caught up to him at the next light, thanked him for being a good guy, and he let me take his picture. Exhibit 2 Motorcycle cushion guy. Saving the world one good deed at a time.

 




8. I have visual proof that I am not the only one seeing the flaws and danger that the newly reconfigured lanes of Mill Street are causing. Featured Wednesday night on Spectrum News, the problems with Mill Street. Mill Street residents and business owners were interviewed and gave their two cents about the changes. Sure, the new design may be slowing down traffic that travels up and down what was often referred to as the speedway, but it would probably be more productive if the reason for the change in pace of traffic was not a result of the numerous accidents that have occurred since the new lanes were put into play. One business owner stated that the bike lanes have been a fabulous edition for the estimated three bicyclists that travel Mill Street per year.

 


 



9. I am no meteorologist or storm chaser, but I think it's obvious to anyone who has a dog, or several, that we have skipped winter entirely and we have been experiencing one very long and very wet mud season. I give up already. There is no chance of one blade of grass making an appearance in my yard this year or any year as long as Gibson is out there acting like he's a one dog pony show. I'm already dreading the drought of July and what that's going to look like blowing around out there. Exhibit 3, Gibson sporting the middle kid's Celtic 5K medal - being rewarded on the rare occasion he wasn't covered in mud.







10. The weather has been spring like and with the spring weather comes baseball season. For those of us who are tried and true Red Sox fans who were fans long before they won the world series, the tanking of the team in recent years really shouldn't phase any of us who are above the age of 25. Why 25 you younger people ask? Because if you're younger than 25 you don't know what it's like to be a fan that took yourself to Fenway every season, watched almost every game, listened on the radio and had your hearts broken every single year. True fans, not these fair-weather ones who haven't and do not stick it out despite how the team is doing. Way I see it is, it's all coming back around. Resetting of the force if you will. Maybe order will be restored and all will be right in the world if the Red Sox go back to consistently sucking. Back when they were really terrible, life seemed a bit simpler, so let's embrace it kids and look at it as a return to normalcy. Maybe they'll pull one out of the hat and surprise us. If the past four years has taught us anything, stranger things have happened - keep the faith.


And last but not least...Happy St. Patrick's Day! ☘️☘️☘️



Have a great weekend!

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