Your Weekly Antics, Don't Be an Angry Snowman Edition...12-13-24

Well kids, buckle up. It’s the last full moon of 2024, that just so happens to fall on Friday the 13th. What does that mean for us exactly? Probably not a whole hell of a lot, but don't quote me on that one, so keep your guard up just to play it safe. I feel as though we have had a full moon every week since last January, every one of some significance or another, but what do I know? I just tell you as I see it, and as always, what is written here in The Weekly Antics is always 100% accurate, on point and technically should be the law (enter disclaimer here...). With that said, here's what I've got...

1. This full moon is called the Cold Moon, why the cold moon you ask? Pretty simple explanation actually, according to the Farmer's Almanac, it's because it's cold outside. Some fun facts about this Friday the 13th full moon - it's rare to have a full moon on Friday the 13th, happening approximately every 20 years, so you werewolves out there better take advantage and live it up, the next one won't occur until August 13, 2049. This moon will be 95% illuminated by Sunday, so should you be so inclined, go on outside and look up. As always, proceed with caution.

2. For those of you fools out there who have not, and who do not plan to heed my sound advice about how you should manage the holidays, here’s what I’ve got to say…good luck and God speed to you if you’ve chosen to start your Christmas shopping today, on Friday the 13th. Retail is not my thing and generally speaking if I can't purchase it online or anywhere but TJ Maxx, I'm out. I don't need it that bad and can certainly wait to have someone representing our fine assortment of delivery services leave it at my door. Good luck to you, one and all.

Exhibit 1, Santa a.k.a. Ronnie Miller

3. Our Christmas tree is up, and the box of ornaments to go along with said Christmas tree has been sitting in my living room, untouched, for the past week. Around 11:30 last night, tired of looking at the box and the naked ornament-less tree lit in the corner, I decided to take matters into my own hands and hang the ornaments. Ornaments up, each strategically placed on individual branches with care, while the big dog snored away on the couch. Perhaps it was the full moon that inspired me, or more likely being sick of tripping over the box full of ornaments that got me to decorate the tree, but all was done and quiet until about 8 am when Gibson awoke from his slumber. Tired of waiting for me to let him out, he backed into the tree taking at least half the ornaments with him. Thinking he was under attack, he didn't knock the tree over, but now refuses to go out the front door, because we have failed him once again, allowing an intruder to block his path to the outside. I suppose that's one way to get him to stay inside and hang out with us.

   
   

4. Like spilled milk, don't shed a tear about all of your broken ornaments that have fallen off of the tree. See the upside - less ornaments to put away and drag up to the attic come December 26th when, if you are like our house, Christmas is wiped clean as if it never even happened. All evidence, returned to the attic until next year.

5. I hope you all enjoyed the December monsoon that we experienced mid-week. Some had water in their basements. Some had flooded streets. Some yards were flooded. I’m here to report there are no nursery rhymes of wishing the weather away here on our corner, and the rain, particularly that of torrential proportions accompanied by high winds is celebrated here in the form of one crazy dog who would not come inside for 10 hours straight. He legitimately belongs on a farm. Like a real one, not the sort of farm we’ve got going on around here.

6. We ventured out to Jordan’s Furniture in Natick last week in search of new furniture. Because why wouldn't we when we have dogs who treat themselves to the comfort and luxuries that furniture provides. Considering all the mud and wet dog that has been in and out of our house this week, I’m happy to report that we did not find or purchase anything, in retrospect I believe we dodged a bullet and have since rethought our plans that perhaps the Kap pack is not quite ready yet for anything new that I won’t care if they ruin. However, I did come home with something better than a new couch…Exhibit #1, That’s right kids, be jealous. This here is my all-time favorite weatherman, who we quote here quite a bit in The Antics, Kevin Lemanowitz, Fox News weather. Exhibit 2, Look how happy he was to see me.

   
   

7. 

   I hate to break it to you Kevin, but contrary to popular belief, apparently not all women over the age of 70 know who their local weather forecaster is. After my mini photo shoot that may or may not have resulted in my Christmas card photo for this year, and a 10-day temporary restraining order, I immediately texted a photo to Sue Miller. Her prompt response was…” who’s that guy? Did he sell you a couch?” 🙄 Exhibit 3, this is not Kevin Lemanowitz...even better, Tyler Herron, home from Northeastern, stopping in to visit Sue Miller.

   
   
   
   

   

   8. Weather forecasters, the full moon, Friday the 13th and the crazy weather is messing with everyone on land and at sea, this would include another free loading finned creature taking up space here in the Kap house in the form of Miller, the TV Stand Fish, who lives in the middle kid’s room. Miller has decided he’s not particularly happy with his living arrangements and is on a hunger strike. The irony of this situation is not lost on me. I tell the middle kid, whose concerned her fish won’t eat, perhaps in effort to secure new digs and amenities in his clearly unhappy fish home, that maybe she should leave Finding Nemo on for him one of these days. Give him some entertainment while also letting him see just how good he has it. You want something better fish? Look at what happened to the fish in Nemo when they thought they'd have life better outside of the tank. May teach him a lesson or two that he should be careful what he wishes for. Get it together.

9. Are you looking for new recipes for Christmas? Trying to come up with different ideas to add a unique sparkle to your family's meal? Here's what not to do unless you would like to experience a mutiny at the dinner table or perhaps get your family and friends not to return next year to partake in Christmas dinner. Edible glitter. Adding edible glitter to gravy is an abomination to mashed potatoes everywhere and should be against the law. Exhibit 2, Thank you Garron Noone for watching out for the people and warning us all about this blasphemous nonsense. Check him out on instagram, @ garron_music

10. Here's another recipe for you, and perhaps even an idea for one of those Christmas gifts you have yet to purchase. Did you know that Snoop Dogg has a cookbook? Of course he does. First the Olympics, now he's taking over the kitchen. And if you enjoy this cookbook, he has another one called Goon with a Spoon. Look at you, getting all your Christmas gift ideas from The Antics. Maybe George Jones will come out with a cookbook...word on the street is, he's working on his grilled cheese video.

And last but not least, when you're out and about this weekend, get yourself in the holiday spirit and be nice. Don't be an angry snowman.

Have a great weekend!