Your Weekly Antics, Rainy Trash Days Are Nothing but Trouble Edition...4-4-2025

Well kids, it's been a week. Hope you've all survived and can enjoy a stress-free weekend. Here's what I've got...

1. Yesterday was trash day and it was pouring...that is Gibson's favorite combination...rain, mud and chasing the trash trucks. This is not my favorite kind of day because it never fails that I have something to do or somewhere to be on these rainy trash Thursdays, no one else is home, leaving me to try to get this dog in the house. This event never ends well.

   Exhibit 1, Gibson looking like he's exhausted from working a 9-5.

   
   

   

   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

   

   
   

2. Yesterday's rainy trash day was no different than all the others, only this time I was already dressed for work...yes, I occasionally iron a pair of work pants before heading out into the world, although that is a rare occasion. Out in the rain and the mud, slipping and sliding around while this ass hat stared at me from behind bushes and the shed and then dodging me as soon as I made any movement in his direction. He thinks he's smooth, but I hate to break it to him, he is wider than all trees and bushes in our yard and just because he's standing behind something doesn't mean I can't see him. He eventually scurried around me and in the house he went, where he shook his large muddy body getting me and my ironed pants covered in mud. The attempt to dress appropriately was there but ultimately ended in jeans. Exhibit 2, guess I should've paid better attention to Ed Sheerhan's Boston area weather report.

3. Changed and ready to go, Gibson corralled with a few choice words spoken, banished to the kitchen muddy and wet until another member of the Kap pack who was still speaking to him and had working thumbs, returned home to release him from banishment. I'd like to say that Gibson cared, but he didn't. He could've cared less I was headed to work, and to be honest, was probably happy to be rid of me.

   
   

4. As if the day couldn't get any better, I took a half day and Sue Miller and I ventured out to my least favorite place, Wal Mart. While she perused the aisles and stocked up on 85 bottles of tonic water and other items, I wandered until eventually we wound up at the register. To my surprise, I discovered that Wal Mart has a house key kiosk at the front of their store. I thought I was being brilliant by multi-tasking and decided to get Sue Miller's house key copied, because the last dozen or so I had copied can't be found. No such luck kids, and let this be a warning to all of you...the kiosk does not work, and is not owned by Wal Mart so if your key gets stuck in it, not only does this machine take your money, but it won't give your key back. Like me, you'll find yourself out of luck because Wal Mart has no control over getting that machine to spit things back out to you. I'm never getting that key back. Exhibit 3, the thieving key kiosk machine.

   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

   

5. Deep breaths taken, jeep loaded, and off we went. We went through the Dairy Queen drive thru, to soften the blow of the last house key being sucked up by that ungrateful stupid ass machine. Soft serve in hand and Just when we think the universe isn't going to provide us with any kind of material that may give me a chuckle, we run across an elderly man on Park Ave in front of the Starbucks parking lot, sitting on a curb, eating his home delivered meal and drinking a Rolling Rock having the time of his life. I know it was a home delivered meal because I have the inside scoop working at Elder Services and can spot those meals anywhere. This guy was sitting there smiling and waving at passers by drinking his beer and eating the meal of the day, living his best life. Exhibit 4, incase you're not familiar with what Rolling Rock looks like.

6. Twice this week I heard the under used and underappreciated term Jamoke which got me thinking...where did this word come from? I believe we've talked about this before, but I feel it's worth revisiting. According to google and AI which is taking over the world, Jamoke is defined as an old-fashioned slang term that can mean either coffee or more informally, an ordinary, unimpressive or inept person. For example, who is the jamoke who let Gibson out this morning knowing it was pouring rain and trash day?

   JAMOKE Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster

7. But I digress...let's continue with the events of the day. Sue Miller returned safely and in one piece to her humble abode, and off I went, to continue to work of the unsatisfied, unappreciative people. I decided that I would indulge in an iced caramel latte from my friends at On the Rise on Pleasant Street to help improve my mood and increase my caffeine intake which would only benefit anyone and everyone I'd be in contact with for the remainder of my workday. Coffee in hand and back home I went. I figured I'd wait to drink and savor this coffee goodness for when I was making the calls that would ultimately lead to me being yelled at about all of the injustices of the world.

8. I pull in the driveway and decide I'd steal Lawn Mower Joe's dog Loki for a bit. Feeling bad for keeping Gibson locked in the kitchen all morning for his transgression, I thought I'd have his BFF come over and let them run amuck in the yard. Dog successfully stolen and the two wild beasts let loose in the yard to torture all walking by, I went back inside to enjoy my coffee. Would've been nice, but I knocked it right off the table before even one sip was taken. Who's the jamoke now? Me. I'm the jamoke. Exhibit 6, the worst exhibit you'll see today.

9. The youngest Kap kid came home, saw the tragedy on the floor that was my caffeinated goodness, identified this was not going to benefit anyone that her mother was decaffeinated, and she went back to On the Rise to get me a new coffee for fear I was losing my mind. Not only did this fine establishment send her home with a repeat coffee which I then handled with care, they did so free of charge because they are the best and are my people.

   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

   10. Speaking of jamokes, I had a doozy to start my week of home visits. I show up, this guy opens his back door and a flume of smoke follows him. Joint in hand, he too was living his best life and asked if our services would provide him with an individual to help him harvest his flourishing pot plants. No sir, our homemaking services do not provide that service, but, the way things are going, I may just be interested. Let me know if the job hasn't been filled.

   Exhibit 7, Saw this little gem when walking out of Wal Mart after the kiosk incident...perhaps this was a sign?

And last but not least, have a fabulous weekend!