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Your Weekly Antics, the 200th Edition Edition ...3-29-2024



Well kids, today is the 200th Edition of the Weekly Antics. 200 editions of nonsense. Who knew at the height of the pandemic, that the emails I was sending out harassing my coworkers, encouraging them to volunteer to deliver home delivered meals, that foolishness would morph into a blog, but here we are. Thanks for coming along for the ride and sticking with me, here's what I've got...



1.March is notoriously, in my mind, the endless month. We’re coming off winter, anxiously awaiting spring. Spring is here for a split second and then we get a blizzard. The snow melts and then we get rain and rain and more rain and flooded yards and basements. Despite the fluctuation in precipitation and temperatures, crocus's start to pop up, no fear of the sporadic cold. No holidays to be had, unless you treat St. Patrick’s Day as a national holiday, and then you’re requesting the Monday after St. Patrick’s Day parade day off - if you don’t, then it’s a full work week for you. Unless of course, like this year, Easter falls in March, so at least we have that going for us. This year, the end of March can’t come fast enough, I – am -  over - it. March 31st, I’m opening all my doors and windows and bidding it farewell. Good luck and Godspeed – may March spend the next 11 months until its return doing some self-reflecting, thinking about its poor behavior, making some adjustments, and come back with a better attitude for next year. Get it together March – no one likes you.  





2. Watching the news last night there was a story about a woman who had to escape a fire from her home. She said the fire moved so quickly, she was barely able to vacate safely, and did so thank God, without wearing pants. Is this just a thing? Is everyone going home after work or from running errands and as soon as you get inside your house, you're taking off your pants? Getting comfortable, sure, but to me, that's throwing on pj's or sweats, I generally keep some form of pants, on my person. So here this woman was, being interviewed by the local news station, without drawers on. Not how I want my five minutes of fame, but that's just me.










3. My side gig as the Easter Bunny's helper has been eliminated. The Easter Bunny made his annual appearance at Elder Services this week without me. Like I wasn't going to find out...I thought he knew me better than that.











4. Rare George Jones sighting from George's Kitchen this week people, right her in the Woo. No stranger to the Paparazzi, he did his best to share a quick hello with an old friend before being recognized and having to make a quick exit. In our short exchange I asked when we could expect some new cooking videos to hit the world wide web and he stated he works in the moment, therefore it's hard to determine a timeline of when new material will be created and released. If I hear anything before you all do, I'll be sure to share it. Keep an eye out, George Jones is everywhere...you never know when he's gonna pop up.






5. Generally with rain, comes umbrellas. I was reminded this week why I am dangerous with this circular device of canopy shaped cloth and why I rarely use one. I’m short, my brother is not, therefore if I’m standing near him in the rain while attempting to shield myself from the skies, there’s a good chance I’m going to poke his eye out while he attempts to get out of my way. Despite my efforts to reposition myself and said umbrella, we were in tight quarters, so my efforts were fruitless and the runoff from the umbrella continued to drip, right down the back of his neck. On any other day I may have been trying to do that on purpose...this particular day I was not, and I can guarantee I won't be able to do that again if I tried. I'm lucky I didn't get punched.



 

6. I’m not the only one disgruntled…anyone see this? There was a high-speed bulldozer chase between a disgruntled employee and the local police out in Georgia. I’m not going to lie to you, when I initially saw this come on the news I thought, OMG, where is Deb – thought for sure it was her, running from the po-lice for illegally disposing of something or other I may or may not have put her up to. I’m happy to report that it was not Deb, or her tractor/bulldozer thing. See below…

 



7. Hank the Mantle Fish has his fins all in a bunch this week people, being upstaged by a new, younger and sparkly - er fish that has made its way to the Kap house. This would be Captain America, aka Steve, who is floating about in his 5 star accommodations in the youngest Kap kids room. Apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree…this is what happens now that that kid can drive and had time to kill, finding herself at a local Petco. Hank is not impressed and refuses to share his mantle. I don’t blame you buddy…it’s always the shiny new things that attract everyone’s attention, but it’ll come back around, she’ll get bored and come right back to you. In the meantime, keep on swimming…

 




8. When preparing Steve’s new digs, I found the youngest Kap kid using an old screwdriver to poke holes in a plastic cover she was going to stick plant cuttings in for the top of Captain America's fancy swimming hole. I told her that the old screwdriver, that is far older than I am, with a wooden handle even, was probably an antique, and had belonged to her great Grandfather. Good to know that today’s generation is using such a tool for menial things such as poking holes in old cool whip lids for a fish, when he probably used it to construct an entire kitchen. She said it, not me...we’re all, quite literally, screwed.






9. Saw this at Mykonos Bakery last weekend. This my friends is passive/aggressive brilliance. Do you like Peeps? Maybe, maybe not. Do you want to set the Peeps on fire without looking like some kind of Easter Peep hating pyro? Well, we have the solution for you...S'mores Peeps. You can now light those little bastards on fire and melt the smirks right off their tiny little faces while smothering them in chocolate and stuffing them between two graham crackers. Squelch that aggression while curbing your sweet tooth. Two birds, one stone.





10. It's almost clicker season people but I'm sad to report I won't be messing with Lawn Mowing Joe's tv from my kitchen this year. No, I haven't lost my motivation to mess with Joe, I just don't want to mess with my little friend Nyiah's afternoon tv schedule. My plan moving forward is, once she learns how to use the TV remote herself, we can work together. She can be my inside connection to re program the clicker in addition to all sorts of other fun stuff. In the meantime, I'm finding much stress relief while sitting in the driveway during her nap time watching fruits and vegetables float by... check it out...







And last but not least, we lost a bright light last week - one that left a great big hole in the world that can never be filled. That smile and contagious laugh will never be dimmed and will live on in the wonderful family and friends you surrounded yourself with. Thank you for the fun, the love and goodness you brought to the world and every life you touched. Rest easy Meg, your Club will take care of your people. We'll miss you forever. 💜






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